Lockdown Take #3 & #4

So, here we are again. It was eventually going to happen, not an if but only a matter of when. I’m not actually a super pessimist, just someone that likes to be pleasantly surprised if things turn out for the better. But seriously, with the number of breaches and how the government is handling things, I really can’t help but be frustrated. So I’m here splashing my thoughts using virtual ink. Welcome back to blogging!

This is a basic summary of my first day of the week-long lockdown, by the way:

I may be an idiot that got her hair caught in a fly trap today but at least I’m not that idiot who chose to go to BK, the mall & workout at a gym after getting tested for COVID all for some gainz

Originally tweeted by jelly puff 🖤 (@jellypuffplays) on 1st Mar 2021.

I know the message is out there to be kind, but that term has been used so much right now that it’s actually lost its meaning. Like, be kind to who? I believe in kindness, but even that has to be passed through an actual brain to be processed to see whether it actually makes sense to be kind. The truth is: not everyone deserves your kindness. Your sympathy can also be misplaced. I actually have 0 sympathy for the MIT student who went to the gym after getting a COVID test. I call BS on that he didn’t actually know he needed to isolate if he came through mandatory managed isolation and had his test done at a clinic.

And so what about the case of the KFC and Kmart workers? Well, in their case, I do actually have a little sympathy. I know they also should have isolated, but from what I’ve read in the media, it’s been disputed that they weren’t informed. That I believe, could be true. They didn’t come via managed isolation. And the fact is, they were going to work. As employees at retail and fast-food places, you kinda have to be present on the day to get paid. But no one really needs to be physically present at a gym or class to work out to earn money, maybe unless you’re a personal trainer, lecturer or something like that.

But yet we’re here witnessing this debate on who to prosecute, apparently the aim is to go for the KFC and Kmart workers, as opposed to the MIT student. Like WTF? What was her mistake? She criticized the government, like David vs. Goliath. She wanted an apology from the PM. I admit she was a bit feisty in her wording but that doesn’t mean we shoot down everyone who opposes authority. I just don’t have faith in the government because there’s been issues in the past of them cocking up and withholding information.

I’m just tired of this BS, man.

Lockdown Take #2

Writing this on my lunch break from home, since New Zealand is in lockdown again and I’ll be doing the remote worker thing for the foreseeable future. Even though they said at least 3 days, I’m betting on a lot more than 3 days.

Let’s just say having anxiety gears you for things like this and your thinking isn’t like that of a normal person, whatever ‘normal’ is. I really feel sorry for the businesses taking a second hit though. Many barely made it through the first round, I’m not sure they can survive the second.

Just needed to spill my thoughts on the blogosphere, I’ll be fine.

A thought, gratitude

Photo by Dzenina Lukac from Pexels

Remember that this is all temporary and will soon come to pass.

That’s what I’ve told myself during the times where I’ve dipped very low. I remember the times when I was an under and unemployed grad making less than minimum wage doing transcription work at home. I guess Amazon Mechanical Turk workers feel this too, even though it does provide opportunities for people to work. Low-paid work. Very low-paid work.

And now, here I find myself working from home again. Except now this is a public mandate and thank goodness, I’m definitely making more than minimum wage.

If you know me well enough, you’ll know that I am mostly a homebody that likes travel. Obviously now, international travel is out of the question but a confession here: I’ve never visited the South Island of New Zealand. Sure, I’ve been living here for close to 30 years (oh my) but I was always drawn to greener grass, over the seas. So now that I’m in this predicament, I might as well just roll with the punches.

The thing is, you will never learn to be grateful if you choose to keep on choosing to focus and chase after things that don’t matter. I believe that for the most part, happiness is a choice. I’m sure we all know someone who’s a miserly tightwad with more cash than the majority, yet chooses to not spend that money or give it away. I’m not here to tell you how to feel or how you should feel, since feelings are a natural physiological response to your circumstances. All I’m saying is, although we can’t change some things, there are at least a few things we can control.

It was actually really strange but I have to admit that paradoxically, most of my anxiety dissipated when news of the the pandemic broke out and that we would have to go into lockdown. It was almost as if all my previous experiences being so low and ridden with self-doubt played out worse in my mind. To me, I had already experienced something that I had perceived as much worse than what I am experiencing now. Don’t get me wrong, I am not downplaying the issue here. It is serious – people are losing their lives, jobs and other valuable things during this pandemic. All I am doing is giving my own personal view of where I stand and how I feel at these moments.

I guess it all boils down to one word in the end: gratitude. Even in times of darkness, there is still a glimmer of hope. You can choose to seek light. Or darkness. They cannot exist without each other and life-and-death situations really help put things into perspective. Suddenly those things that I used to worry about no longer phase me. My friends, family and health are at the forefront. They’ve always been important; yet now even more so. It’s hard not to be thankful for these kinds of things nowadays. After all, you only begin to realize that you should clutch harder onto your cloth just as the wind comes to take it away.